Does he love me?
by Korrin Belle-Deamon
Summary: Duo thinks about his relationship with Heero and wonders if he cares about him at all.


Does he love me?

I sit at the window and watch the rain fall as I wait for him. I glance at the clock, quarter-to-four, he should be home soon. I look back out the window to the path in front of our dorm room, the one he uses to walk here. He's so predictable, always following the same routine. I miss him and I worry even though I know he'll walk in the door at four-o-clock sharp, unless he has a mission. He doesn't though, his laptop is still here. I can see it, sitting over there on his desk, I hate that laptop. It's not that he spends more time with it, he does, but that's not the point. It's that it has a higher priority than me. The first thing he does when we get back from a mission is go write the report, even if he's bleeding to death. Even if I'm bleeding to death. It doesn't matter what we're doing, if it beeps to signal a new message he'll run eagerly to it like an obedient dog called by its master. He probably loves that machine more than me, if he cares for me at all that is.   
Sometimes I think he's just using me for my body, and it hurts, because I love him. I don't remember when I realized how I felt, but it feels like forever. Why did I fall in love with him? Why couldn't I have fallen for someone nice, like Quatre or Hilde? Damn it! I've had better conversations with a brick! Why did I have to fall for him… The perfect soldier. He may be perfect in a lot of aspects, but he's far from perfect. Did that make sence? I didn't think so, let me explain. He has a perfect body, his fierce eyes which are the perfect shade of cobalt blue, his messy hair which is perfect for him, and his perfectly round, tight ass…err, where was I? Oh yeah, but his emotional skills are sorely lacking, as well as his conversational and interactive skills, or just about every skill required for interacting with people. I hear he's good with animals though.  
I hear the door open and I glance at the clock, he's right on time. I paste a smile on my face and then turn to greet him. "Hey! Welcome home Heero!" "Hn" He grunts at me. No 'Hey Duo I missed you' or 'How are you?' all I get is a grunt. I sigh in frustration as I notice where he went. I'll give you a guess, that's right, his laptop. Told you so. He's probably checking to see if we have a mission, we don't, I already checked. Does he think I'm so incompetent that I can't check for missions? I walk up behind him and read over his shoulder, and sure enough he's checking for missions. I put my arms around his neck. "Hee~ro, I'm bored" He doesn't respond, he just stares at the screen so I nuzzle his neck "Heero, come play with me" He continues to ignore me so I lick his ear. He doesn't even look away from the screen as he roughly shoves me away from him and growls "I'm busy" I glare at the back of his head. Tears threaten to fall but I blink them away and mask my sadness with anger "Asshole!" I yell at him and run from the room and out in to the rain without looking back.  
I run all the way to the park where I fall to my knees on the muddy earth, my breath coming in ragged puffs. The rain is freezing, almost refreshing, it almost feels as if the rain is washing the blood from my soul. My tears fall freely now and I make no attempt to stop them, the heat of my tears provides little warmth from the rain. I kneel in the mud for what seems to be hours, and it might have been, it looks like the sun is setting but I can't tell for sure because of the clouds. It is freezing though. I dig through my pockets searching for money so that I might be able to stay in a motel tonight, but I find none. I don't want to go back to the dorm room I share with him, not yet. It's dark now and I can hear frogs and insects singing in the rain. I can almost feel the temperature dropping. I'm so tired, my legs are numb, I think I'll just rest for a moment. I stand stiffly and walk over to a tree where I'll be partially shielded from the rain. I lean back against the trunk and close my eyes.

Awareness hits me and my chest feels tight, I cough fiercely into the pillow, wait a minute, trees don't have pillows. I cautiously open my eyes. The room is dark. I roll over and stare at the ceiling, dazed. I sit up and another coughing fit hits me, I guess I'm sick. The door opens and I turn to see who it is but the person turns on the light. It almost burns and I close my eyes tightly and shield them with my arm. "Sorry" the person says as they turn the light back off. It's Heero, even in my dazed state I can recognize his voice easily. I move my arm and look at him. For a moment I can see relief flash across his face before his usual stony mask takes it's place. "What did you think you were doing?" He says it calmly but I can tell he's angry, I don't care. "What's wrong Heero? Afraid I'll endanger the mission?" I say bitterly. Now the anger shows. "Duo you could have died!" I shrug "So? It's not like you care or anything" I see shock flitter across his face. Suddenly he lunges at me and I use my hands to shield my face but he grabs my arms and holds them at my sides. I'm about to protest when I notice he's crying, I'm speechless. "Duo…Do you really think that?" I can't stand to look at his eyes when he's looking at me like that. I loom down at the bed "…Sometimes" I start coughing again and he loosens his grip on my arms and puts his hand on my forehead. He leaves the room and then comes back with a first aid kit. He pulls out a thermometer and places it in my mouth and then watches me sadly. "Duo, why do you think I don't care about you?" I look back down and he grabs my chin and makes me look at him "Duo, why do you think that?" I feel like I'm about to cry again and I bet I look pathetic with a thermometer in my mouth. "Heero, you… you never say you love me, but, I could understand that because you're not very good at talking about stuff, but I could deal with that if you showed how you feel at least a little bit" I stop as he takes the thermometer. "But Heero, you never go out of your way to kiss me, it's always me who stars our play and you hardly even talk to me." He leans forward and wraps his arms around me "Duo I'm sorry" He pulls back and looks me in the eye. "Duo, I do…I do care about you, a lot. I'm sorry that I didn't show it" He rubs my back gently "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" I smile at him. "Yeah, for one thing, don't run to your laptop everytime it beeps. It can wait, and, kiss me" He frowns "I can do the first thing, but..." My smile fades and I feel rejected "But what?" "You have the flu" That makes sence I guess. I grab his hand and pull him towards me "Are you worried about getting sick?" He smirks "I don't get sick" "Then why not?!" I'm starting to get frustrated and he knows it. "Becuase you could get germs" I raise an eyebrow "Heero, I get germs when we kiss wether I'm sick or not. Now come here" I grab his face between my hands and press my lips to his, he doesn't seem to concerned about germs now. After a few minutes of making out he pulls back. "Duo, you are sick and should probably rest. I sneeze and he pushes me down on to the bed "Sleep" I pout "But Hee-chan I don't wanna!" "You have to" I grab his tank top and pull him down on the bed next to me "Only if you sleep with me Hee-chan" He shakes his head and I pull out my ultimate weapon, the puupy dog eyes "Plee~ase Heero" I see his mask falter and finally he gives in "All right" I smile and rest my head on his chest as he wraps his arms around me. Things are looking much better allready. 


End file.
